Are You Currently In A Relationship?

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

What do you mean, dear? Do you give up that easy? Naah. What do you think, is my virtual soup contagious? if so, in a bad or good way,TomServo?

Hah. I don't feel like talking about it, sorry.

[ExtraHye]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

To answer the some of the original questions…
I would like to be. I would like to be. I would like to be (ditto for four, if that's four questions.)

Maybe someone wants to give me some advice about the following.

Over a year ago, I met someone I really liked. After we met in person, I sincerely thought, “He is the man I’ve been looking to find.” I love everything about him. He is considerate and thoughful, very smart, honest, kind, funny as hell, great looking, and so on. Actually, I had talked with him quite a bit before we met in person. I still call what happened with me ‘love at first sight,’ though I already knew I liked him tons before I even ‘saw’ him. The feelings I had were not based on ‘sight.’

However, I’m afraid, I was so amazed to find someone who was this wonderful (in my eyes, anyway), that I am sure that I came on way too strong at first. I scared him, I think. I tend to be very honest (to the point of saying things I should maybe wait much longer to say, if at all.) We also had very different kinds of relationship backgrounds. I think I was asking him for a serious relationship and maybe that was too much, too soon. I tried to tell him I was falling for him. I think that I was too honest. Now, I still miss him more that words can explain.

I think that might have been part of the problem. He bailed. He also stopped talking with me. At this point, I really would even be thankful to be friends with him now (even though I wanted more than just friendship). I miss him deeply and I don’t think that will ever stop. So, after he stopped talking with me and I couldn’t understand, I said odd things to him (email, and so on). I thought, ‘at least now if he never talks with me I can blame it on the weird-talk.’ That would help me ‘understand.’ I had never met someone who I had so much fun with and looked forward to talking with that much.

My friends tell me to just forget him. That, I think, is absolutely impossible. One of my best friends says, it had been so long that chances are he isn’t going to talk with you. My intuition says that he is wrong. I could be okay with not having a bf/gf kind of relationship with him, but I am NOT okay with just ceasing communication. I want to talk with him. I want to understand what I went wrong. I want, at least, what we had before we even met in person. Do you think I should even try to explain that to him? What do you think I should do?

My best judgement is telling me not to reply to this post. Not only because it brings back bad memories but the guy I'm writing about is most likely going to read this post. But I don't care as this is in the past and I would love to give you my advice on this from experience.

Guess it was a lot easier for me to forget about him since the guy was an all time jerk. Never wanting to talk with me or give me a reason for what went wrong. All he did was just avoid all my IM's and E-Mails. I used to get mad and tell myself to forget about him. But time will go by and I would start thinking, no his a great guy and I must of done something wrong for him to hate me like this. All I asked from him was to know what I did wrong. But he hasn't said anything about it till this day.

Then time went by and I met this great guy we've been going out about 2 years now. He treats me 10 times better then the other guy ever did. Sometimes I thank God that nothing really happened with the other guy and me. True my boyfriend and I don't have much in common and we do get into a lot of arguments, but that's how most relationships are. I can't see myself with anyone else but my boyfriend.

Anyway a year ago I saw the same guy online on the day of his birthday. So stupid me thought I could be nice by saying Happy Birthday to him just to be nice. Guess what he didn't even say thank you, all he did was log off.

So Anahita just forget about him, he'll never change. Just move on and I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you for yourself.

[Sip]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Sip!

You put up the corny girl quote!

OMG OMG Must run take 4 showers and say 5 hail merrys ... be back later

And thanks

And that's good advice by Extra-h too. Instead of trying to fix him or figuring out what's wrong maybe with you, moving on is sometimes the best solution.

And hate to say it, but that's why I personally am against the whole notion of "love at first sight" (or first date, or first week, or first month). Give it time. Enjoy yourself but at the same time think and explore the possibilities before "falling in love" (I know it's hard but you HAVE to put the emotions in check sometimes).

And this is often even worse with talking online ... people spend a lot of time just talking and forget that the image (I'm not talking just visual) of the other person they are forming is not the complete one. I for example type posts at a MUCH higher level than I act in real life! So if you think my posts suck, just wait to see me in real life

Edit: And we all know that in real life we can easily pretend to be someone else for a while (not for too long though). But online, that is MUCH easier to do. People tend to take on certain personas that they just can't live up to in real life. Often this is not on purpose either ... it just happens.

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

I hate getting confused in my own thread.

[Crissy]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Hah. I don't feel like talking about it, sorry.

we'll be talking about it over a few beers

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

If alcohol is involved, I'll talk.

Actually, it's not so bad. Everything is okay for now.

[Crissy]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

^^^Glad to hear it mate

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Can we still have the beers?

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

That is good advice, Sip and ExtraHye. ExtraHye, it is good to hear the view from someone who has experienced and felt something similar. It is also encouraging that you found someone who loves you as you are. Being just friends with him would not cause me more hurt. However, trying to be his friend and being ignored has really been killing me. I'm a very sensitive person and I guess that I've learned to be more cautious with my feelings. I wanted so much to believe that there was a chance that we might be friends again that I didn’t want to see what seems obvious. Odds are that he is not going to have a change of heart and want to talk again. I suppose it is unlikely that I will win Powerball, too. So, if I win the lottery, then I’ll believe in ‘against all odds.’

I guess I have to accept that I may never know what happened. Just talking here with you guys helped quite a bit to give me some closure. Thank you.

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Well, I just had a beer. And yes, it helped.