Are You Currently In A Relationship?

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Most of the time the Magic 8 ball gives me the relationship answers--at least this certainly tells me how I feel. (If I get an answer I like I know that's what I want and, so there you go. This will tell you what you want, I guess.)

http://www.indra.com/8ball/front.html

Gives me much more info (correct? who knows but more info, anyway)

[Sip]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

I don’t think I agree as a generality that people should avoid relationships until their late 20’s (per Sip). What do people define or understand as a ‘serious’ relationship? Serious is opposed to what?

By "serious" I mean a fully committed relationship: Not casual dating, not just "hanging out", and definitely not one-night stands.

I will grant you however that everyone is different so what I said was something that was true for me and doesn't necessarily apply to everyone else.

Having said that, I still can't imagine having been involved in a seirous relationship with anyone in my teens and early (up to mid) 20's. First of all, I was waaaay too involved in school and trying to pay for school. But secondly, I was traveling waaaaaaay too much and way too often to have had any time to devote to a relationship. When you are in the middle of the desert one weekend, hanging out in the mountains the next, going to some conference in Alaska afterwards, and who knows where the week after, it's kind of hard to think about relationships! But some people actually enjoy that kind of life style at certain points in their lives and what better times to do it than when you are still young and don't have any commitments?

But FOR EXAMPLE, if after highschool you just sort of start working and kind of taking classes but not really sure and aren't really doing anything else and per your culture, your entire focus is on "family and kids" sometime in the future (maybe even distant but still), then I can definitely see how the possibilities of a serious relationship with someone can pop up. It really all depends how YOU want to structure your life.

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

are you playboy?have you ever been head over heels in love with girl?this is only passion,

I'm not in any type of relationship, no.

I'm sort of "talking" to someone, but I don't know how that's going.

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

It's time for a serious thread.

Are any of you in a relationship? Dating someone? Or even just talking to someone, trying to get to know them to make something happen in the future?

To answer the some of the original questions…
I would like to be. I would like to be. I would like to be (ditto for four, if that's four questions.)

Maybe someone wants to give me some advice about the following.

Over a year ago, I met someone I really liked. After we met in person, I sincerely thought, “He is the man I’ve been looking to find.” I love everything about him. He is considerate and thoughful, very smart, honest, kind, funny as hell, great looking, and so on. Actually, I had talked with him quite a bit before we met in person. I still call what happened with me ‘love at first sight,’ though I already knew I liked him tons before I even ‘saw’ him. The feelings I had were not based on ‘sight.’

However, I’m afraid, I was so amazed to find someone who was this wonderful (in my eyes, anyway), that I am sure that I came on way too strong at first. I scared him, I think. I tend to be very honest (to the point of saying things I should maybe wait much longer to say, if at all.) We also had very different kinds of relationship backgrounds. I think I was asking him for a serious relationship and maybe that was too much, too soon. I tried to tell him I was falling for him. I think that I was too honest. Now, I still miss him more that words can explain.

I think that might have been part of the problem. He bailed. He also stopped talking with me. At this point, I really would even be thankful to be friends with him now (even though I wanted more than just friendship). I miss him deeply and I don’t think that will ever stop. So, after he stopped talking with me and I couldn’t understand, I said odd things to him (email, and so on). I thought, ‘at least now if he never talks with me I can blame it on the weird-talk.’ That would help me ‘understand.’ I had never met someone who I had so much fun with and looked forward to talking with that much.

My friends tell me to just forget him. That, I think, is absolutely impossible. One of my best friends says, it had been so long that chances are he isn’t going to talk with you. My intuition says that he is wrong. I could be okay with not having a bf/gf kind of relationship with him, but I am NOT okay with just ceasing communication. I want to talk with him. I want to understand what I went wrong. I want, at least, what we had before we even met in person. Do you think I should even try to explain that to him? What do you think I should do?

[Sip]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Forget him. You just have to accept that he met you and maybe wasn't ready to feel the way about you as you were ready to feel about him. You can't force these kinds of things. You are either what he likes, or you are not. To try to do and say the right things or act a certain way to maybe somehow have something different is not a good idea in the long run.

Also, always keep in mind ... even a Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolie will not be the right one for everyone. And how many of us can really compete with those kinds?

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Forget him. You just have to accept that he met you and maybe wasn't ready to feel the way about you as you were ready to feel about him. You can't force these kinds of things. You are either what he likes, or you are not. To try to do and say the right things or act a certain way to maybe somehow have something different is not a good idea in the long run.

Also, always keep in mind ... even a Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolie will not be the right one for everyone. And how many of us can really compete with those kinds?

I never want to 'force' anything, but I cannot forget him, Sip. I can accept that he wasn't ready, didn't want a relationship, and so on. But I am not ok with the idea of not talking with this amazing person. SO, here I am, asking for help. I feel like I lost one of my best friends. I miss him so much. I don't know that he will ever understand.

[Sip]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Ok then pursue him all you wish. Just be ready to accept rejection. If that is not something you are ready to accept, then all I can do is to try to encourage you not to go for it and keep wondering. Rejection can be a very painful thing if you are not ready to accept it.

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Forget him. You just have to accept that he met you and maybe wasn't ready to feel the way about you as you were ready to feel about him. You can't force these kinds of things. You are either what he likes, or you are not. To try to do and say the right things or act a certain way to maybe somehow have something different is not a good idea in the long run.

Also, always keep in mind ... even a Brad Pitt or an Angelina Jolie will not be the right one for everyone. And how many of us can really compete with those kinds?

I never want to 'force' anything, but I cannot forget him, Sip. I do not do or say what someone wants to see and hear. I don't want to build something on that...

I am honest. Too honest? If I am not 'what he likes' then he is a very good actor. I know him well enough to know that he isn't going to... (...he's an honest and great guy) I can accept that he wasn't ready, never wanted a relationship, and so on. But, I cannot accept the idea of not talking with this amazing man. So, here I am asking for help. Pittiful as that might be. I miss him so much. I don't think he understands. In fact, I know he doesn't. I hope he learns, in time, how much I love him.

[Anahita]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

Ok then pursue him all you wish. Just be ready to accept rejection. If that is not something you are ready to accept, then all I can do is to try to encourage you not to go for it and keep wondering. Rejection can be a very painful thing if you are not ready to accept it.

Yeah. I can accept 'romantic' rejection, Sip. Hard, but I can. But this guy was a person who I knew I wanted to be my friend for all my life. I know I still do. I miss him.

This guy, who I've been in love with for a year... I'm sure he thinks about me. The 'what' he thinks is a good guess.

This guy should think about what he had, something than many men never see... I hope he will at least want to be my friend. How to approach that.. that's my next question... "I miss you and would love to talk with you even if there is no 'romance' in the future... Damn, I miss you. Can we talk again sometime soon?"



I don't, and can't understand that (vanishing) without some explaination (spelun?). I've dated men and that is nothing even close to this... I'm happy to know I could talk to him, somehow. I'll keep trying.

I never put myself in a position to know that... I was honest, and very vulnerable. Do you think I should at least try to be friends with him? I hope so. How? If he is with someone else, I'd like to still talk. I love him lots. Sip, this guy, is awesome.

[One-Way]

Re: Are You Currently In A Relationship?

So yeah, I'm no longer "talking" to anyone.

See how quick that changes.

I came three inches to a good girl and lost it.