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  • #41
    Going back to topic: I once said, F**k Y** to my mom. Notice I said ONCE. It slipped out when I was on the phone and she kept yelling at me from the other room. This is how it went...

    Me: On the phone chit chatting.."Yea so I can't believe...."

    Mom: Lolo....shoot ara!! I have to go!!!

    Me: "Mom, hold on."

    Mom: No I won't hold on. I'm sick of waiting for you!!

    Me: thought I was whispering, "f*ck...

    SILENCE, then I hear footsteps coming towards me....My mom kicks the door open and goes, "What did you just say, with her face looking like

    Me: "I didn't say anything mom, I love you"

    Mom: "If I ever......." bla bla bla....


    Yea it was bad. I haven't cussed in front of my mom since that day

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    • #42
      Originally posted by violette829
      Going back to topic: I once said, F**k Y** to my mom. Notice I said ONCE. It slipped out when I was on the phone and she kept yelling at me from the other room. This is how it went...

      Me: On the phone chit chatting.."Yea so I can't believe...."

      Mom: Lolo....shoot ara!! I have to go!!!

      Me: "Mom, hold on."

      Mom: No I won't hold on. I'm sick of waiting for you!!

      Me: thought I was whispering, "f*ck...

      SILENCE, then I hear footsteps coming towards me....My mom kicks the door open and goes, "What did you just say, with her face looking like

      Me: "I didn't say anything mom, I love you"

      Mom: "If I ever......." bla bla bla....


      Yea it was bad. I haven't cussed in front of my mom since that day
      LOL..Just imagining you on the phone and ur mom slamming the doors open "WHAT DID YOU SAY??!!" Poor girl. Oh and with the "If I ever blablah speech" just always answer by "Yes" and the conversation will fade away so quickly
      Happy you live alone now?

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      • #43
        Originally posted by !EEK
        LOL..Just imagining you on the phone and ur mom slamming the doors open "WHAT DID YOU SAY??!!" Poor girl. Oh and with the "If I ever blablah speech" just always answer by "Yes" and the conversation will fade away so quickly
        Happy you live alone now?

        I live with my mommy. That makes me wonder if I'm too old to be living at home...hmmmmm Let's make a thread!

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        • #44
          Originally posted by ckBejug
          I've never actually said anything to make a date cry or want to shoot me, but I know people who have so I'll start up the thread with a story...

          A guy friend was out on a date trying to impress ths new girl he met with his charm and wit. Apparently the date was going fine, and he was regailing her with his massive knowledge of bad/gross jokes. At one point this joke came up: "Whats blue, 18 inches long, and does'nt fit properly?" (Blank look from the girl) "A dead epileptic!" He's rolling around laughing and she erupts into a flood of tears. Apparently, her brother died of an epileptic fit about six months ago. And yes, the blow job was out of the question.


          So lets have some stories where you (or someone you know, of course) wished the ground would open up and swallow you up alive.
          I think that's the finniest thing in the world. If I were the guy, I would have finished the joke with a follow up of, "Irony, huh?".
          Achkerov kute.

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          • #45
            Originally posted by Anonymouse
            I think that's the finniest thing in the world. If I were the guy, I would have finished the joke with a follow up of, "Irony, huh?".
            I didn't get the joke. Perhaps my medical knowledge is lacking, but why would a dead epileptic be 18 inches long and why would it not fit properly?

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            • #46
              Originally posted by loseyourname
              I didn't get the joke. Perhaps my medical knowledge is lacking, but why would a dead epileptic be 18 inches long and why would it not fit properly?
              Usually after an epileptic moment, all the muscles are contracted and the the members won't move for a moment....

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              • #47
                Originally posted by loseyourname
                I didn't get the joke. Perhaps my medical knowledge is lacking, but why would a dead epileptic be 18 inches long and why would it not fit properly?
                What are you talking about? Did you just get an epileptic sezure?
                Achkerov kute.

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                • #48
                  Originally posted by !EEK
                  Usually after an epileptic moment, all the muscles are contracted and the the members won't move for a moment....
                  No amount of muscle contraction can reduce an adult human being to 18 inches. I still don't get it. I've seen people have epileptic seizures before. One of my friends in North Carolina suffered from them.

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                  • #49
                    Originally posted by gaucho
                    it was my first job interview.
                    F.A.O. Schwartz Glendale Galleria. November 1998
                    interviewer: what was your favorite toy when you were a kid?
                    Me being really honest: I didn't really play when I was little.

                    yeah, so like the blow job in ck's story, the job was out of question.

                    (and I SWEAR I hated toys when I was little. ask my sister. I've made her CRY convincing me to play barbie-barbie lol or so my mom says)
                    That just reminded me of how much I miss that store
                    "All I know is I'm not a Marxist." -Karl Marx

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                    • #50
                      this thread is xxxxing hillarious!

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