WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

[Pazooki]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

So a teenage couple sneaks back at the guys crib at 1 am in the morning

They see that his little brother is asleep but they wanna have sex.

So the girl tells the guy she'll say tomato when she wants him to go faster and she'll say lettuce when she wants him to go slower and she'll say ham when she wants him to change positions

So the girl goes : "Lettuce Ham tomato, Tomato Ham Lettuce, Tomato Lettuce Tomato."

The little brother wakes up and says "Hey can you guys stop making sandwiches your getting mayonaise all over me."

LOL

[MrHyeSev]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Young Parents:
The young parents used code words when discussing sex in front of their children. The terms for intercourse ws "washing machine".
They were lying in bed one night when he said to her, "Darling, washing machine."
"Not now, I've got a headache", she replied.
An hour later, he ran his hand down her leg and said, "Darling, washing machine, please! washing machine."
"I've got a headache!", she complained.
An hour later, feeling sorry for him, she turned to him and said, "O.K. washing machine."
"Don't worry", he replied, "it was a small load so I did it by hand."

[KarotheGreat]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

you are a sick man.how dare you call me an imposter.i reported you.
for god's sake get a life instead of sitting on the computer watching
sick videos.oh ya GO TO HELL YOU BASTERED!

watch your language, never speak like that to an Armenian don't care who you are. And this is forum, so get ready to be insulted and if you don't like it here cvrvi (get out of here)

[Armenian]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Get lost impostor. Or I should just check your IP and ban you.

Would it be OK if it was the real thing?

I would like to see this thread deleted. Besides its disgusting/evil/tasteless content it is also attracting cyber filth.

[Anonymouse]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

hey im a female.im 13 years old.my name is ashley.i have a yahoo.

Get lost impostor.

Or I should just check your IP and ban you.

[MrHyeSev]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Dave & The Wife:

Dave watched his flat chested wife try on her new bra.
"What do you want a bra for? You've got nothing to put in them", he smirked.
"I don't complain when you buy underpants she replied.

[MrHyeSev]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Applying For A Job:

Ben applied for a job as bartender at the local hotel. The owner had heard that Ben had been fired from his last hotel job because he was always late, money was often missing from the till and it was rumoured that he was gay.
"I'll give you a chance" said the new employer "but if there's any money missing or you're late you will be fired immediately. Now give me a kiss and get to work."

[ArmoforLife6]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

lol nice

[Pazooki]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

LOL

This ones a classic from middle shcool:

There's a kid, a mom and a dad.

They're having guests over.

The kid goes into the bathroom and see's his dad shaving.

The dad cut's himself and says "Sh=it!"

The kid asks the dad what "Sh=it!" means.

The dad replies, "It means to shave."

So the kid goes into the kitchen and see's the mom cutting the turkey.

The mom accidentally cut's her finger and she says, "Fu=ck!"

The kid ask's the mom what "Fu=ck!" means.

The mom replies "It means to cut."

The door bell starts to ring.

The kid goes and answers it.

The guests ask the kid where his parents are.

The kid replies, "Dads upstairs in the bathroom shi=tting and mom's in the kitchen fu=cking the turkey."

[MrHyeSev]

Re: WARNING: Sick jokes. Do not read if you can't handle!

Dirty Joke:

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"