Virgin or Experienced?

[Anonymouse]

Goodness, for a second there I thought I was at the rodeo, there's so much bullsh!t being thrown around in here! I can't imagine why this term should be so difficult to understand. As with a lot of things in life it's not very easily defined, but then why should it? I'd personally rather not fit into a neat little definition set forth by, who? society? which society? religion? which religion? etc... I don't think a dictionary should be consulted to define anything that goes on between two people who are very much in lust or in love, etc. Whatever you do and whoever you do it with/ did it with should be your business and yours alone. End of story. It also shouldn't be a determining factor in relationships or anything else for that matter. For example, you go out with a girl who claims to be a virgin according to such and such dictionary's definition of 'virgin'. Turns out she's had oral sex. Is she a virgin still? Turns out she's also had anal sex. Is she a virgin still? Her hymen is intact, so three cheers, she's 'officially' a virgin. Right??

First of all, anyone who is having anal sex because that will allow her to retain the title 'virgin' is just decieving herself and any future guys she's going to have a relationship with. What a great lie to base a relationship on, right? I think a lot of that stuff wouldn't happen if it wasn't such a taboo, especially in the Armenian community, for girls to have sex before they get married. I don't get it at all. I mean if you're discreet and safe and take every precaution, etc, and don't go around the block with every other guy and be a wh0re about it, then why the heck not? Why do you have to lie about it and/or cover it up and be deceptive instead of being open and honest and telling whoever your future husband is that yeah you've had sex with someone and it meant something at the time but that was then and this is now and get on with your life?

I give all female examples because I know- through my guy friends, my ex, and my current bf, all Armenian- that it's not such an OH MY GOD! bad thing when you hear that a guy has had sex before. It's a fact of life, they were with girls for a certain amount of time, or heck even just met them in some cases, and they had sex. Big deal. I've never seen it as a 'bad' thing. In fact I'd probably prefer to be with someone who's had sex before, even if I'm waiting until I get married, or until I'm engaged at least. One of us has to know what to do, right? I also find it terribly sexy for someone to teach you new things.

I also know that just as I'd love to have sex with only someone I'm terribly in love with, other people don't find such things necessary and can have meaningful, great sex nonetheless, why the heck not??? I can't imagine that anyone in here can come up with any kind of valid reasoning.




Mousey, shouldn't you be the one enlightening us about the allure of a girl who is a virgin when it comes time to get married? From what I recall you were an advocate of that. Weren't you?

Well, now you are openning up a whole new can of worms, such as the reasons for virginity, sex before marriage, virginity or lack thereof in the Armenian community, etc.

[gevo]

....................... go around the block with every other guy and be a wh0re about it.................

so what defines a xxxxx, a girl who has sex and tells about it? or a girl who has had sex with... lets say 3 guys, or 5 or 10....???? what use, then, do we have for such terms?... might as well throw it out.

i think pre-marital sex leads into very dangerous problems later on in the marriage ESPECIALLY if the husband finds out AFTER getting married, and. i think this goes for the other way as well... i dont see what the big deal is about NOT having sex as apposed to having sex befroe marriage.. ok.. so it is like 45 seconds of pleasure... i mean.. thats it!!!.. lol.. cause without the real emotional bonding, the LOVE (with the CORE meaning of the dang word!!!) sex is only 45 seconds long. But, if we were to think of a loving married couple, sex never stops, the pleasure is continuouse

[gevo]

I've said this before, and I'll say it again....Unless you are a virgin, do not expect to be with one. If a man has kept his virginity for marriage, then he is more than welcome to want a girl who did the same. However, I cannot tolerate a man who goes around f---ing every vagina in sight, then when it comes to marriage, wants a "virgin". As CK said, those girls who have their hymen in tact are either mouth sluuts or buttcrack sluuts...who think that by giving it up in other ways, they are staying pure. Purity is in your heart. We're in 2004, and hopefully we're all mature enough to understand that VIRGINITY has nothing to do with what kind of wife you will be in the future. I say, F--K You to any man who thinks like some of these Armenian barberians!!!

I agree that a man has no right to demand virginity if he has no kept his. And i strongly dissagree that if a girl is a virgin then they are mouth sluuts or whatever... if you didnt mean "EVERY" girl.. then i would undersatnd.. but the way you have said it, its very offending i would think.. and.. i dont undertand.. what does it matter that it is 2004???? this has been a "problem (if anyone sees it such* since the early days of the world, the whole world was wiped out once because of this type of behavior.... anywho.

[Anonymouse]

It is an enchanting pastime watching weddings fill the void of time, and witness that most people in secular society are anything but religious, or Christian in this sense. Now I will be the first to admit, that yes I have sinned. I have engaged in premarital sex, I have engaged in promiscuous behavior, yet I do not agree with that behavior, most probably from my conservative/religious outlook. Unlike most people on these boards and in society, I admit my faults, and my wrongs, instead of trying to justify my actions by making things subjective. I wish I can turn back the tides of time to correct my mistakes, however, I cannot, and the only thing in my power is to admit my faults.

Most folks nowadays, don't deem virginity to be that much of an important thing, it's just "whatever". Since they are not religious and haven't been taught so, they engage in the sort of lifestyles that one would out of default call "immoral". It is the ultimate irony when watching a non-virgin lady getting married and walking down the aisle in the Church, wearing white, yet not realizing what that color signifies. Religion has only morphed into nothing more than some sort of "ritualistic obligation" for the sake of somehow keeping some sort of faint yet distant sense of "meaning". Such is the hallmark of what secular society eventually degenerates into.

I have come to believe that one can have a successful Hindu society, a successful Christian society, a successful Muslim society, but never a agnostic or atheist society, because religion is essential and no society can live without it. So yes, virginity does signify something very important, that is if you have some twinkling twilight of faith left in you. However, although I am not a virgin, I would prefer a virgin, even though I would settle for a non-virgin. In any event, George Washington said it best,

"Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, Religion and Morality are indispensable supports. In vain would that man claim the tribute of Patriotism who should labor to subvert these great pillars of human happiness, these firmest props of the duties of Men and Citizens. ... And let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure, reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle."

[hyebruin]

that was beautiful

[Genuine_Stud]

It is an enchanting pastime watching weddings fill the void of time, and witness that most people in secular society are anything but religious, or Christian in this sense. Now I will be the first to admit, that yes I have sinned. I have engaged in premarital sex, I have engaged in promiscuous behavior, yet I do not agree with that behavior, most probably from my conservative/religious outlook. Unlike most people on these boards and in society, I admit my faults, and my wrongs, instead of trying to justify my actions by making things subjective. I wish I can turn back the tides of time to correct my mistakes, however, I cannot, and the only thing in my power is to admit my faults.

Most folks nowadays, don't deem virginity to be that much of an important thing, it's just "whatever". Since they are not religious and haven't been taught so, they engage in the sort of lifestyles that one would out of default call "immoral". It is the ultimate irony when watching a non-virgin lady getting married and walking down the aisle in the Church, wearing white, yet not realizing what that color signifies. Religion has only morphed into nothing more than some sort of "ritualistic obligation" for the sake of somehow keeping some sort of faint yet distant sense of "meaning". Such is the hallmark of what secular society eventually degenerates into.

I have come to believe that one can have a successful Hindu society, a successful Christian society, a successful Muslim society, but never a agnostic or atheist society, because religion is essential and no society can live without it. So yes, virginity does signify something very important, that is if you have some twinkling twilight of faith left in you. However, although I am not a virgin, I would prefer a virgin, even though I would settle for a non-virgin. In any event, George Washington said it best,

"Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, Religion and Morality are indispensable supports. In vain would that man claim the tribute of Patriotism who should labor to subvert these great pillars of human happiness, these firmest props of the duties of Men and Citizens. ... And let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure, reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle."

So true... so true. Amen.

[nairi]

I thank the Lord every day that he gave me the ability to feel a unique sense of pleasure between my legs. I neither regret playing with it, nor do I wish to turn back time. If I must go to hell for my actions, or be ostracized by a community who denies this god-given gift, then so be it. I won't give up this gift for some fanatic morons who think they can fool the rest of us, including God.

[SagGal]

Most folks nowadays, don't deem virginity to be that much of an important thing, it's just "whatever". Since they are not religious and haven't been taught so, they engage in the sort of lifestyles that one would out of default call "immoral". It is the ultimate irony when watching a non-virgin lady getting married and walking down the aisle in the Church, wearing white, yet not realizing what that color signifies.

Virginity has become unimportant and just a "whatever" kind of deal. I'm glad he mentioned what I made bold there when quoting him. He reminded me of a classmate of mine in high school who was talking to me and couple of my friends about her and her boyfriend being in love and thinking about having sex soon. Right there, she mentioned herself wearing a white dress and them getting married someday. She didn't even know that a white wedding dress symbolizes purity and being a virgin. When I told her, I believe she said something like, "Yea right. You see hella people gettin' married and the dress is always white. And I doubt they're virgins 'cuz that is pathetic. They're 20 somethin' years old and virgins." She was right. Some of them are not virgins and they are wearing white. To a lot of people today, virginity is a joke. Come now, a 17 year old boy called me a goody goody because I haven't lost it yet. Jeees.

[Sip]

Virginity has become unimportant and just a "whatever" because the definition of virginity is so rediculous and archaic. In a society where 11 year old girls perform oral sex on the boys as early as middle school, is it any wonder that no one gives a rats ass on whether or not the female's hymen is intact or not? (in other words, whether she has had sex or not?)

We need new concepts and new moral definitions if we expect the current generation to first be able to understand and comprehend the issue, and then decide whether or not to conform by it.

Otherwise whether a girl has had vaginal intercourse or not before marriage in this day and age is completely irrelevant.

[Sip]

... and I'd like to point out that from Anonymouse's post, it's obvious he is subscribing to the more modern institutionalized concepts of religion where "sex" is frowned upon, not talked about, and "virginity" valued above all else in a woman before marriage.

Clearly "virginity" is not synonymous with religion and even though "religion" may be an important concept in a society (mouse's claim, not mine, I'm not even trying to argue that point as that is a whole another thread), virginity has little to do with religion.

I have come to believe that one can have a successful Hindu society, a successful Christian society, a successful Muslim society, but never a agnostic or atheist society, because religion is essential and no society can live without it. So yes, virginity does signify something very important, that is if you have some twinkling twilight of faith left in you.

Mouse, so even if religion must be there, I don't see how you make the jump from there to virginity as a requirement for a successful society. Furthermore, are you sure there haven't been any successful non-religious societies that have valued virginity?