Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

It does happen among Armenian couples though!

My aunt's husband beat her and her children for over a decade before any of them mustered the courage to tell anyone. I'm grateful that you all aren't thinking like abusive men, but I think they count on being able to coerce their victims into silence, so they're not very fearful of people finding out and hunting them down. They make people feel worthless, like they deserve to be beaten, it's their fault for pushing him to do it, what will people think of her?, if she leave him no one else will want her, if she leaves or tells anyone, he'll kill her/their children,etc.

[gkv]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Well, I don't go around beating the crap of everyone who pisses me off out of fear (of going to prison) as well. What you say about that?

well i'll be blunt. i say such reasoning puts you closer to being an animal than a human being.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Well, I don't go around beating the crap of everyone who pisses me off out of fear (of going to prison) as well. What you say about that?

I'd say fear works well as a deterrent.

[levon]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

so in your traditional society, people act decently out of fear mostly, not out of free will.
if that is all we have achieved in thousands of years of existence as a nation then there is little to be proud about.

Well, I don't go around beating the crap of everyone who pisses me off out of fear (of going to prison) as well. What you say about that?

[gkv]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Yes, plus the immediate threat of over-reaction from family members has traditionally been a much better deterrent of abuse than the current DV laws. If a guy knew his wife's brother would over-react, he wouldn't even dream of abuse. And, of course, the older women in the family usually shamed the younger ones into proper behavior. It all just worked. Now with no family, no values everything's falling apart.

so in your traditional society, people act decently out of fear mostly, not out of free will.
if that is all we have achieved in thousands of years of existence as a nation then there is little to be proud about.

[levon]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

The reason Armenians traditionally marry people within their own community is so they know what they are getting... another Armenian that was raised with the same values. Families also help to keep each other in check.

Yes, plus the immediate threat of over-reaction from family members has traditionally been a much better deterrent of abuse than the current DV laws. If a guy knew his wife's brother would over-react, he wouldn't even dream of abuse. And, of course, the older women in the family usually shamed the younger ones into proper behavior. It all just worked. Now with no family, no values everything's falling apart.

You'd be welcome to hide out in Canada... just drop me a message. I'd support the cause.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Sadly I'm too hot-headed to restrain myself. If that happened the guy would end up dead and I'll either be in prison or in hiding.
But one usually knows his/her family members pretty well (at least the ones you'd go to prison for), most times you can tell if they are lying.

You'd be welcome to hide out in Canada... just drop me a message. I'd support the cause.

[KanadaHye]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

I expected you to say this and I'm certain this is what the men in my family would say too. But the way Levon was putting it, you should be dubious of every woman. How could you know if she's telling the truth?

The reason Armenians traditionally marry people within their own community is so they know what they are getting... another Armenian that was raised with the same values. Families also help to keep each other in check.

[levon]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

Okay, so you believe your female family member when she's bruised and beat up looking and says her bf/husband beat her? How would you feel if that guy claimed she made it all up and did it to herself? Now, assuming you don't want to go to jail for killing the guy and you find a way to restrain yourself, how would you feel if the justice system was of no help because they said "well it's just your word against his... never mind that her eyes are swollen shut, her nose is broken, lip is cut, etc. She could have done that herself!"

Sadly I'm too hot-headed to restrain myself. If that happened the guy would end up dead and I'll either be in prison or in hiding.
But one usually knows his/her family members pretty well (at least the ones you'd go to prison for), most times you can tell if they are lying.

[Siggie]

Re: Who is the Armenian girl that our guys strive to marry.

There is a difference between protecting women in your family and women in general. The women in one's family form but a small subset of all the women one will come into contact with. Just because one is much more believing if his/her family members doesn't mean that the same naivete should be extended towards others.

Okay, so you believe your female family member when she's bruised and beat up looking and says her bf/husband beat her? How would you feel if that guy claimed she made it all up and did it to herself? Now, assuming you don't want to go to jail for killing the guy and you find a way to restrain yourself, how would you feel if the justice system was of no help because they said "well it's just your word against his... never mind that her eyes are swollen shut, her nose is broken, lip is cut, etc. She could have done that herself!"