Cheating at a young age

[omniscient]

Hey guys, I need to give one of my friends some advice and I don't have a good answer for him. My friend has been with his girlfriend for 2 years now and they are into eachother to the fullest extent, they love eachother basically. During the first 6 months or so my friend cheated on this girl with other girls at parties and such things. He recently went to Europe for over a month and hooked up with some girls during the first half of the trip. But something hit him during the second half of his trip, he realized he really wants to marry this girl and he has been messing up everything by cheating on her (total of 4 random girls, all just like one nighters). So today he told that girl everything he has done because he couldn't live with that guilt of her not knowing. The girl isn't taking it well right now. This guy is my age (22) so he's a young guy and at this age stuff like this always happens in relationships because people aren't ready. But I guess my friend realized he's ready to be loyal to this girl and loves her and wants to marry her, only thing is what can he do now after admitting what he's done in the past? What things can he do or say? What should he try to explain? I don't know, this is a tough one, I don't know how the girl can ever feel the same.

[Anonymouse]

Sounds like he solved the problem pretty much on his own. And now that the issue is settled he can do what all guys do to temporarily win back the heart of the girl until they cheat again - make it a Blockbuster night.

[jilbagh]

some things are better left unknown

[Siggie]

Tell her the truth. Tell her why he cheated, why he's telling her now, and why he wants to stop, etc...

It's up to her whether she'll want to be with him still.

[Anonymouse]

some things are better left unknown

Yea, like the fact that Kerry serves special interests, Jilbaa-aa-aa-aa-kh.

[XxgoeyxX]

Sounds like he solved the problem pretty much on his own. And now that the issue is settled he can do what all guys do to temporarily win back the heart of the girl until they cheat again - make it a Blockbuster night.

I couldn’t agree more. I have always believed once a cheater always a cheater. Its just sad what he did and now he has to be a man and try to make things better. He thought he was man enough to cheat and be a jerk, he can be man enough to prove what an idiot he was. There is no forgiveness for something like that. All I know is that, its good that he did it now, not when they were married with 2.5 kids. Now she knows what kind of a person he is. And if she is blind she will take him back. But if she realizes that he isn’t worth it then she wont. She is young and she will find someone else, just like he will find someone else. It wasn’t hard for him to do it when he was with her, it wont be a problem now. All the advice I can give u is the one Anony gave; he should do everything he can to win her back. BUT I still believe he will still cheat. PERIOD.

[sad_eyes]

The truth is always best. If she truley loves him, in my opinion, she should be able to see that he is truley sorry and understand that he does want to make it up to her. Understanding is the beginning of improving. Just as he understood that what he was doing was wrong, she should understand that he is aware of his faults and wants to change. A part of love is to see each others faults, and accept them, and to make them corrected. This requires two people. As I said in another post, challenges can be stepping stones, or stumbling blocks...it is all a matter of how you view them. Let us remember that when we are inclined to be dishearted that the private soldier is a poor judge of the fortunes of a great battle.

[thedebutante]

Hey guys, I need to give one of my friends some advice and I don't have a good answer for him. My friend has been with his girlfriend for 2 years now and they are into eachother to the fullest extent, they love eachother basically. During the first 6 months or so my friend cheated on this girl with other girls at parties and such things. He recently went to Europe for over a month and hooked up with some girls during the first half of the trip. But something hit him during the second half of his trip, he realized he really wants to marry this girl and he has been messing up everything by cheating on her (total of 4 random girls, all just like one nighters). So today he told that girl everything he has done because he couldn't live with that guilt of her not knowing. The girl isn't taking it well right now. This guy is my age (22) so he's a young guy and at this age stuff like this always happens in relationships because people aren't ready. But I guess my friend realized he's ready to be loyal to this girl and loves her and wants to marry her, only thing is what can he do now after admitting what he's done in the past? What things can he do or say? What should he try to explain? I don't know, this is a tough one, I don't know how the girl can ever feel the same.

First of all, age has nothing to do with this. At 22, he's def. old enough to know that cheating has consequences that would eventually surface in one form or another. Second, nothing he does would change the way she feels. He shouldn't try to explain anything because chances are she's not stupid and she understands the situtation.

So it's really up to the type of girl he's dealing with. Some girls would forgive such things if they are really in love. Others would not. I mean, you didn't really give us enough about the girl's reaction, but based on what you said, she seems like the type that would come around and forgive him since she didn't leave him the minute she heard about what he had done.

But man! 4 times? Sounds like your friend's little epiphany about wanting to remain loyal wont last too long and I really hope his girl realizes this.

[XxgoeyxX]

Trust is the first thing in a relationship. If there isn’t trust how can there but anything else. Of course he knows what he did was wrong. He knew it was wrong when he was doing it. But that doesn’t mean he is going to get a free ride from it. That’s what it seems like to me. “Hey I did what I did. I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, but I love you.” That’s such b.s. If you love someone you don’t do things like that. God gave human beings free will. Either you make the right choice or the wrong. And most of the time we make the wrong choices and learn from them. But that does not mean take advantage of it and/or hurt people. He defiantly had will power to stop what he was doing but didn’t care to do so. Now all he can do it grow from it. That’s the only thing he can do and that’s the only thing you as a good friend can help him do.

[gevo]

I say he is screwed, and statistics show their is a 78% chance he will cheat again.. so, if i were the girl id say screw you, he isnt worth it, not yet.. he has a long way to go to show his worth again, one time i would say "he's human" two? thre? more??/ he is Bullxxxx.. sorry, dont get offended.. i hate people like him, ruin lives, hurt feelings, mess up others' emotions.