Parenting

[angelik22]

sorry didnt mean to come off like that- i wasnt trying to be a smartass- i just wanted to say that i could never find anthro boreing- cause from what i got from, ur post was that u said it was boreing to read abotu it- sorry if i misunderstood you- no bad intentions- i was jsut being me- was a little joke kind of way that i said it- and i dont blame you -u dont know me too well to be able to tell whts said jokingly and what snot- btw nice 2 meet you, welcoem to the forum- and nice posts so far

[nunechka]

ohh, sorry hun...

i did take it the wrong way... because i didnt think it was boring, but to most people it is...

nice to meet you too...

[sleuth]

sleuth... there is great and boring reading on this subject in the area of Antropology... but i can attempt to tell you what the fathers role is...

in every culture it is different... for us Armos it is to be a good role model and show your strength and your wizdom... you think of your father as a man who is smart, capable, and a provider, so if oyu want to continue this then go for it... but if you feel that and sometimes men do feel that it is not fare that women get to have all the fame here, then you should try changing the baby's diper more often and staying up at night with the baby more often... and when the kid is ready to go to school, YOU take the kid to school and YOU take off time from work to watch over the kid when he/she is sick...

as far as teaching your kid what is right or wrong, well that isnt your job exactly, it is everyone in your family and you have to remember, that kid is born with a personality already, and they are forming their opinion on what they believe, so you can and should be their provider, their firend, and their guardian...

i guess the only madical thing i said there is that all this parenting role stuff is culturally defined for us already... but thats a damn good theory...

so i suggest reading about this in antropology books usually they are titled like "gender roles in modern society" or something like that...


good luck

Its all good forum cheer leader

Anthropology is not boring but i really don't need to read it. I am perfectly aware of what the fathers’ role is (i have row model, archetype of parent- father).
Father as a man who is smart, capable and a provider is all good!!! My concern is emotional aspect of fatherhood. I would love to read what guys think about fatherhood, but they are passive which makes me think they don't have clearer idea what it is to be a father.

[nunechka]

sleuth, my man, i am not a cheer leader... not even the type...

if i was i would have an avatar that resembled that...

[sleuth]

sleuth, my man, i am not a cheer leader... not even the type...

if i was i would have an avatar that resembled that...

nunechka ,i didnt mean anything bad

I prefer to be your girl ,btw

[Anonymouse]

For both men and women, becoming parents is often something done more as a coming of age rite than a carefully thought out choic. Have u ever asked yourself “would I make a good parent? Do I actually like children? Am I comfortable around children?” and the most important question of all, “do I actually want children?”
We are not doing any favors to child by bringing him into world just so he can have a parent who doesn’t like kids.And i also happen to think that its very immature to have kid solely because u want one.We have to consider childs need before bringing to this word,to have a child because we want that ,totally selfish and immature.
And another thing that bothers me a lot its society's definition of family and fathers role. Men who adhere to traditional sex roles seem to be emotionally stunted.Ther are not supposed to feel or show off emotions.(take it as a men).
What child really wants from parents.?? and shell we consider their needs and expectetions before bringing them into this world.

I agree with the brunt of your post, however, the part where you seek to marginalize "traditional sex roles" and suggested that somehow those of that persuasion are "stunted", I do not agree with. Showing off emotions has nothing to do with traditional sex roles. I would not want to have a father who was androgynous, or a masculine mother. No sireee. Nor would I put my kids through such a hell.

[sleuth]

I agree with the brunt of your post, however, the part where you seek to marginalize "traditional sex roles" and suggested that somehow those of that persuasion are "stunted", I do not agree with. Showing off emotions has nothing to do with traditional sex roles. I would not want to have a father who was androgynous, or a masculine mother. No sireee. Nor would I put my kids through such a hell.

So you think father who is there not only as a provider but as an emotional supporter is androgynous, and mother who works extra hard side by side with her husband is a masculine mother.Is that what u are saying???

[nunechka]

anony you are pretty funny...

my mother and father work side by side... my dad cooks sometimes along side my mother and washes dishes too... but he doesnt do as much as my mom... which makes me think, hey my mom works 8 to 10 hrs a day and so does my dad, but my mom comes home cooks (most of the time), cleans, take my little brother to school drops him off at basketball, does all the errands washes the close, etc... i think sometimes my mom is pretty tough... she is really "dematskun" more then my dad... because my dad comes home from work and rests...

dont get me wrong my dad does things like fix the toilet when it goes bad, the lights the heater, the A/C the doors, the walls, he has FIXED UP all the houses we have lived in...

he has an impress library and level and spectrum of education, wizdom, and intelligence, but i think my mom is really TOUGH, she can compete with the library, wizdom and intelligence... but they are different in their every day activities...

[winoman]

Well I am a father (and an Anthropologist BTW...at least by education/interest) and I certainly do as much for/with my kids as my wife dows - we share pretty equally. And for instance - I am the cook in the house. I pretty much do all of the cooking, most all of the groceryt shopping and even much of the shopping for the kid's clothes and such (hey I'm the Armenians half - thus the better shopper!). And we share most child raising duties (baths, making them lunches, homework, taking them to stuff...) as well as household stuff (and decisonmaking and the like) - etc etc...and itys entirely OK. And no - I don't think anyone would consider me effeminate in any way or lacking as a husband/father etc - (unless perhaps beating your wife is considered by some as a "traditional" father's role...)...

Yeah nice post Sleuth - good questions to ponder...

[Anonymouse]

So you think father who is there not only as a provider but as an emotional supporter is androgynous, and mother who works extra hard side by side with her husband is a masculine mother.Is that what u are saying???

You missed my point. But that's okay.