Breakup

[Siamanto]

What did I learn from this thread? I learned that if you are down and are looking for friendly ears
1- Some will
- Vilify the most precious person in your life and/or
- Insinuate that you may have been successfully assuming the role of a sl ut and/or
- You have no personality or will and have been used and abused and/or
- You are incapable of judging people and will pretend being better judges of a person they don't know at all; a person that you have known long enough, close enough!
Of course, it would be done in the name of the noble and just principles of modernism. Yes modernism, that almost antiquated view on life. Modernism, a modern incarnation of narrow mindedness!
2- Will use the opportunity to talk about themselves and their philosophy of life. Even after the most careful reading you won't see a single line about you!
3- Some like sad_eyes a lot and would like to see her dump Levon and become available!

To summarize, I have learned that I should never share my feelings and/or details of my personal life with some!

What did you learn? Please share your feelings!

[Siamanto]

I don't have all week to wait WOMAN. lol jk We do kuro jan.

Shall I make you wait? Yes, good things come to those who wait!

[sad_eyes]

I assumed it would be a good place to talk about my particular problem as you are all armenians and would naturally have an understanding of what was going through my ex's mind.....and I know this is the internet and everything, but I do concider most of you as friends of somesort, so.......I dont know......just looking for advice. Thank you everyone who posted their thoughts. I will hold onto your kindness, wisdom and advice and learn what I can from this. You all have been a big help. If you lived in Canada, I would invite you all over for a barbaque.

[bell-the-cat]

Levons words: You are not a virgin. "The other armenian guys that you have been with (Artur and Gevorg) would point and laugh at me and my father "saying hahaha, I xxxxed your wife.".

He actually said that? It's almost word for word what I postulated he could be thinking. It's slightly disturbing to me that I was so accurate. Wow!

I read in your post, and correct me if I am wrong, that you seem to think that virginity is unimportant to me?

If you mean my post, how did you get that impression? I think you are giving it too much importance and thus are giving too much allowance to Levon's unresonable attitudes and putting yourself down far too much.

Again, as I stated in a recent post, virginity is EXTREAMLY important to me. Although I am not a virgin, I strongly strongly strongly earg any young woman to remain that way until marriage. Mine was taken from me and I continued to abuse my body afterwards, it (for me) has done nothing but much trouble, and I find that relationships are often more questionable when having sex.

These are disturbing thoughts for you to be having. Are you a lapsed Catholic some sort of ultra-conservative Catholic family? "Abused your body" - that is an insane thing to be saying if you mean having sex as part of a normal relationship. From my point of view if you have been sleeping with married men in your past then that is not a proper thing to have been doing - but that is nothing to do with virginity. I mean, if you had been "pleasuring" them in some other way that never actually involved full sexual intercourse would it have been OK then in your eyes? (Sorry, I may be getting the married men bit completely wrong, I don't quite understand your words here and aren't sure if you are referring to yourself or just to those other men.)

I told Levon that I cannot change my past. Although the person I was and the person I am today are completely different, I will never be able to erase the actions of my past and there after effects, no matter how sorry and regretful I may be. My body is a part of who I am, and I have to take the flaws of my life with me everywhere. Levon has many flaws too, before he met me, he was a man xxxxx of the city, being with every girl he possibly can (PLEASE do not get offended by the following comment but so has every other armenian guy in this city)but after being with me, he quieted down, he was content and happy, and the feeling was mutual. I know and completely understand your traditions as far as marrying a virgin is concerned, I understand it too well. Actually, Levon despises Artur after what he did to me...but anyway, I have always been one to think that love, real love, is accepting each other wholeheartedly, without limitations, you cant look at someone who you truley love and say I love everything about you except this one thing, no. It doesnt work that way. Love is embraceing thier faults and flaws and loveing them despite of them. Finding the beauty if not in them well their faults as well. No one being on this earth is perfect or without "sin"

Its true that the past can't bechanged. It's maybe not so true that people can change completely. But there is no point in you being ashamed or regretful about past actions when really they are actions that there is no need for you to be ashamed or regretful about. You seem a fine enough person to me, and you have good reason to be emotionally broken after what has happened, but for some reason you are making for yourself quite a heavy cross to carry.

(sorry but I think loseing your viriginty before marriage is a bad sin) Well, in my opinion anyway.

You are entitled to your opinions. But is this one doing you good?

He has so many to count......and the others, they were not ones to talk. They are all married with children and yet they go and xxxx every women they can whenever they can. And yet, they look their eyes upon me and lable me as a xxxxx....and they do not even feel an ounce of remorse for their wrongdoings. Is this just because of the double standered in society today?

its not a case of double standards - its a case of no standards.

Anyways, my appologies, I am rambling on. Its an emotional issue for me. Bottom line is this, I am extreamly offended that levon would say such a thing (although I do agree with keeping virginity) because of our relationship, the fact that he is so not a traditional armenian and rarely follows any traditions, and that he himself has been intamite with me, so to speak...He would never use me, that isnt the case here, I cant stress that enough.

Followers of traditions are often like criminals and laws: they only break the ones that are advantageous to break.

Anyways, I do understand that tradition prevails. It IS the honourable thing to do.

But who's tradition? Who makes it a tradition? And why? And tradition has little to do with honour, and is often the furthest thing from honour you can get.

[bell-the-cat]

I assumed it would be a good place to talk about my particular problem as you are all armenians and would naturally have an understanding of what was going through my ex's mind.

We aren't all Armenians.
And Levon's mind isn't the same as all Armenians. Maybe he isn't even particularly Armenian (but it isn't my place to say that or in my knowledge to know it.)
And you and Levon aren't living in Armenia.

[spiral]

"There was a young man from Stamboul,
Who soliloquized thus to his tool:
'You took all my wealth
And you ruined my health,
And now you won't pee, you old fool.'"

[Siggie]

Rachel I was looking at the pics from your sister's wedding and you refer to Levon as your boyfriend. Did you guys get back together?

[sad_eyes]

Haha, yes. We did...it was really hard on both of us for us two not to be together. I hate myself for it sometimes, to be honest but being together makes more sence to us than not being together. Taking things slowly with his family, tommorow I am going to make a resume for Levons step mother as she doesnt speak english very well and doesnt know how to make one.

He begged me to take him back, I couldent find it anywhere in my heart to say no....

[Siggie]

I hope he's come to his senses and that he doesn't do the same later down the line.
Best of luck.

[spiral]

..And $20 says you'll be back with Levonik by the end of next week!

$$..??