Alright to be shy?

[HyeJinx1984]

Sorry for making HyeJynx-ish threads but it's really important for me..

That was cold man...

[Thai-Samurai]

Electroshock therapy helps depression too Hyejinx.

[HyeJinx1984]

No, intentional self-inflicted shocks of electricity make me very very happy actually, tee-hee

Anyway, on being shy... it doesn't get you anywhere. I was shy for YEARS and I'd barely even talk to a girl.. the minute I stopped being shy things started looking up for me. However, don't consfuse that with saying tha wrong thing.. anytime you think to yourself "I know, I really shouldn't say this to her..." then don't. Not listening to yourself will get you in trouble.

[Thai-Samurai]

Actually, actually, you should say anything you want, and the more that you thnk it'll get you in trouble, all the more reason you should say it. As many times as Hyejinx has been rejected this past week. Don't you think you had mouthed off and been a smartass, because now you know either way it would've resulted the same. However the latter would atleast make u feel self content.

[Anonymouse]

The truth is you're shy because you havn't found your "place", or you're reason not to be shy. For example If Anonymouse walked into a big ass frat party being thrown by cougars, and mt. lions, he'd xxxx himself and become incredibly shy. On the other hand If he were thrown into a frat party being thrown by wisconsin cheeseheads, he'd be doing keg stands all night.

Obviously, I'm not going to an extrovert at Church during a wedding. I'll be cool, reserved and respectful.

[HyeJinx1984]

Actually, actually, you should say anything you want, and the more that you thnk it'll get you in trouble, all the more reason you should say it. As many times as Hyejinx has been rejected this past week. Don't you think you had mouthed off and been a smartass, because now you know either way it would've resulted the same. However the latter would atleast make u feel self content.

First of all, you KNOW that the problem of the last few weeks has nothing to do with being shy.

Second of all, what I meant are stupid things like "Do you remember me? I'm the guy who lost the butt crack contest!" You should probably remind them of who you are in a different way. That's what I meant by if you know you shouldn't say something, don't say it... I didn't mean with hold anything in particular.

[Anonymouse]

No, intentional self-inflicted shocks of electricity make me very very happy actually, tee-hee

Anyway, on being shy... it doesn't get you anywhere. I was shy for YEARS and I'd barely even talk to a girl.. the minute I stopped being shy things started looking up for me. However, don't consfuse that with saying tha wrong thing.. anytime you think to yourself "I know, I really shouldn't say this to her..." then don't. Not listening to yourself will get you in trouble.

Like I said, you're goal shouldn't be what they will think of you, you're goal is what you think of yourself. Who cares about girls, or anyone else period? Just say whatever you want to say, be cokky, funny, and confident. Don't over analyze during the situation, then you start to think of "what can I say?" or "what can't I say?" If you can't get passed that, then you're obviously someone who very much cares about what others think of them.

[HyeJinx1984]

Arguing this is stupid, much like most arguements are on this forum. Don't act as though first impressions don't mean anything. I can joke around and call my girlfriend a bia-atch (in a playful manner of course) once we're comfortable with each other, but I certainly wouldn't say that to a girl I just met. Are you seriously telling me I should go up to a girl and be like "BIA-ATCH! Can I get your number?" when I really don't think it's the right thing to say? don't argue just to argue, this doesn't even have anything to do with being shy per se, we're just dragging the thread further and further off topic.

[Anonymouse]

Arguing this is stupid, much like most arguements are on this forum. Don't act as though first impressions don't mean anything. I can joke around and call my girlfriend a bia-atch (in a playful manner of course) once we're comfortable with each other, but I certainly wouldn't say that to a girl I just met. Are you seriously telling me I should go up to a girl and be like "BIA-ATCH! Can I get your number?" when I really don't think it's the right thing to say? don't argue just to argue, this doesn't even have anything to do with being shy per se, we're just dragging the thread further and further off topic.

You obviously don't speak from experience. No one is "dragging" anything, and no one is "arguing". It's all in the mental construct of your mind. You obviously give a rats ass what females think of you. That is where all your problems emanate from, although you will deny and get defensive with me, that is the case. But all I am doing is giving my personal advice. You don't have to like it or take it, nor respond. If you do, great. I know it might appear stupid and silly, and it might not make sense, but that is the way it goes. Women don't respond to what you are advocating, to 'niceness'. They want to feel that powerful, magical, all important emotion called attraction! You can be a jerk, but not an a hole. You can be a gentlemen, but not a pansy. They don't feel that with shy guys, guys who are not confident, or who give a shyt what others think, or guys who act with restraint when under different situations.

[spiral]

Well

I think that it's partially due to the person's personality, partially to the the environment you were exposed to, and partially due to your age.

I agree that you shouldn't think about what people are going to think of you. But that doesn't mean you should treat them like crap, to show to them that you don't care. I don't agree with mouse about blabbing without thinking.

It's so distasteful.




It's good to be apprehensive. It's always in your favor in the long-run. Just as long as you don't let it control you.

Shakespeare wrote, "What a piece of work is a man--in apprehension, how like a god!

...and Shakespeare knows his stuff!