Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

[RareChik]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

So do you think that this is right: the girl is in a serious relationship 4 a long time...and does want to have sex but shes afraid that if she does an then lets say they break up then she's not a virgin nemore..so she thinks that no other guy is gna want her (armenian neway)...and for this reason she doesnt have sex with her bf...do u think that this kind of mentality is right or a healthy one?

[One-Way]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

In my opinion, unfortunently, her way of thinking is right. Not necessarily healthy, but it's right, for the following reason:

The girl wants to have sex but is worried if she breaks up, nobody will want her. That itself proves she should not have sex because she's already considering they might break up.

The girl should wait until she meets the right person; whether it's this boyfriend or the next. At that point, she can either have sex with him (without the worrying of breaking up, since he's the right one for her) or wait until they are married.

You see the problem is girls just want to have sex, regardless of who it is. I think we should all wait until we meet the right person. That way, there is no worry of "what if we break up" and in my opinion, if you have sex before marriage, I consider it okay, because it's with who you love and will eventually marry.

[RareChik]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

In my opinion, unfortunently, her way of thinking is right. Not necessarily healthy, but it's right, for the following reason:

The girl wants to have sex but is worried if she breaks up, nobody will want her. That itself proves she should not have sex because she's already considering they might break up.

The girl should wait until she meets the right person; whether it's this boyfriend or the next. At that point, she can either have sex with him (without the worrying of breaking up, since he's the right one for her) or wait until they are married.

You see the problem is girls just want to have sex, regardless of who it is. I think we should all wait until we meet the right person. That way, there is no worry of "what if we break up" and in my opinion, if you have sex before marriage, I consider it okay, because it's with who you love and will eventually marry.

So, would u say that a girl made a mistake or is a xxxx if she does have sex with her bf and at that time she thinks that he's the right one and no doubt in her mind...but a year later for some reason...doesnt really matter...they break up...

In my opinion, unfortunently, her way of thinking is right. Not necessarily healthy, but it's right, for the following reason:

do u think that this way of thinking should change in our community? y or y not (i mean since it's not healthy)?

[Anonymouse]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

One-way as much as I respect you for voicing your opinion, I am just going to have to disagree on this.

Okay, in that case, here is my opinion.

I believe if two people love each other -- and I don't mean movie love -- where you really like somebody but once you glance at other guy/girl, you fall in love again. I mean true love, it exists, maybe some people might not agree, and I wouldn't have either two years ago but I'm talking about love.

If two people love each other, they will do whatever their other half suggets. That means if the girl tells the guy (whether or not the guy is a virgin) that she wants to wait until marriage, the guy should agree, no question. There should be no talk of him cheating because she's not having sex with him or anthing else. That just means it's not love and it was founded on NOTHING. This work vice versa, obviously.

Well this just sounds absurd. If one person suggests something then the other person should "do it" no matter what, because of "true love"? There is no "true love." It's just a continuing process between people that we all have and can grow in and out of and with many different combinations of people. It is "practical politics." I am not denying love, I am denying it any of the heavenly and imaginary and idealistic dimensions we ascribe it, raising it on a pedestal. We are all capable of selfless (which many would equate to love) and selfishness (which many would equate as the antithesis).

I don't think in the real world - the practical world - "love" exists in the same idealistic realm as you have ascribed it. There is no "true love." In love there is no equality. One person puckers up to kiss, and one person always braces for the kiss. In other words, there is a power dynamic. So, if one person wants to have sex, they are more likely to cheat and/or get it somewhere else. The reason for this is because many people do not know themselves well enough, or well at all, to know what they are capable of - their potentials and limitations. And because many people tend to be more selfish and seek the self-gratification of their prurient interests, they are more likely to chart on this course as opposed to waiting. I am not speaking about everyone (obviously), but that is the way it goes in the real world of practical politics and human animality for most of the people who do not possess self-knowledge, and are not capable of introspection.

[Anonymouse]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

This taps into a very interesting question. At what point does someone become a "slut"?

[One-Way]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

One-way as much as I respect you for voicing your opinion, I am just going to have to disagree on this.

Well this just sounds absurd. If one person suggests something then the other person should "do it" no matter what, because of "true love"? There is no "true love." It's just a continuing process between people that we all have and can grow in and out of and with many different combinations of people. It is "practical politics." I am not denying love, I am denying it any of the heavenly and imaginary and idealistic dimensions we ascribe it, raising it on a pedestal. We are all capable of selfless (which many would equate to love) and selfishness (which many would equate as the antithesis).

I don't think in the real world - the practical world - "love" exists in the same idealistic realm as you have ascribed it. There is no "true love." In love there is no equality. One person puckers up to kiss, and one person always braces for the kiss. In other words, there is a power dynamic. So, if one person wants to have sex, they are more likely to cheat and/or get it somewhere else. The reason for this is because many people do not know themselves well enough, or well at all, to know what they are capable of - their potentials and limitations. And because many people tend to be more selfish and seek the self-gratification of their prurient interests, they are more likely to chart on this course as opposed to waiting. I am not speaking about everyone (obviously), but that is the way it goes in the real world of practical politics and human animality for most of the people who do not possess self-knowledge, and are not capable of introspection.

I can agree with most of what you said in your last paragraph. More importantly, I can understand what you mean entirely. But yes, in my opinion, if two people are in a relationship and claim they are in love, they should work together to keep that relationship moving forward. Therefore, if one person wants to have sex and the other doesn't, as you said, that person is more likely to cheat. That in itself proves that person didn't love ther other.

So, would u say that a girl made a mistake or is a xxxx if she does have sex with her bf and at that time she thinks that he's the right one and no doubt in her mind...but a year later for some reason...doesnt really matter...they break up...

In my opinion, unfortunently, her way of thinking is right. Not necessarily healthy, but it's right, for the following reason:

do u think that this way of thinking should change in our community? y or y not (i mean since it's not healthy)?

Look, I don't believe in the "I thought he was the right one but now I realized I was wrong" mentality, okay? Mainly because if you want to have sex, you should know for sure if that person is who you think they are. People will disagree and say you can never know for sure, I think it's possible. I've known my girlfriend for a little over a year and in a month, I think we both had each other figured out to the last drop. If you want to have sex with someone, you better be sure or else don't bring up that excuse because it's your fault.

[ddd]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

My thoughts: If all things being equal between two girls; one being a virgin and one not, I'm going to choose the virgin.

And this mentality is shared by at least 90% of the Armenian guys, and by at least 80% of guys in general. Whether you like it or not, that's life, and you have to learn to deal with it. Of course, there are never situations where everything between two girls are equal, so the issue then becomes how much value a guy puts in the girl being a virgin, and that's a personal choice. Girls don't put as much value in a guy being a virgin so most guys don't feel the pressure to stay a virgin. In fact, some girls would wonder what’s wrong with the guy.

It's all a matter of preference, just like some girls prefer tall guys, some prefer doctors, some prefer bums. But unlike genetics, a girl can choose to be a virgin, just like a guy can choose to work hard, go to med school and be a doctor. The choices you make have both positives and negatives, so you personally will need to weigh your options and make the decision yourself. If you want to end up with a nice, decent, well educated, strong moral values, all the good stuff Armenian guy, you'll probably want to have all the factors that you control (non-genetic) in your favor including being a virgin.

Again, no one’s forcing Armenian girls to stay virgins (although the parents may try to, only because they want the cream of the crop for their daughter), but the girls shouldn’t get angry at “old” traditions, etc when the good looking big shot multimillionaire lawyer or business owner or whatever chooses another girl simply because she’s as good as them, except a virgin.

[Sip]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

When will the girls get to choose? The times when the girl has to sit at home and be pure and wait for a guy to approve of her is over. If you are a girl, take charge of your life, do whatever you want to do, and don't be too worried about the approval/disapproval of some guy with "tradditional" issues which in this day and age don't really mean anything.

Also, sex is waaaaaaaay overblown and too dramatized. It's really not that big a deal anymore. If you haven't lived under a rock, aren't doing STUPID things to impair your rational judgement (like drink heavily and do drugs), then the physical risks from sex can be very minimal. The emotional risks are also something you'll learn to live with but the best way is to live rather than to wait in fear of "what if".

[RareChik]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

I can agree with most of what you said in your last paragraph. More importantly, I can understand what you mean entirely. But yes, in my opinion, if two people are in a relationship and claim they are in love, they should work together to keep that relationship moving forward. Therefore, if one person wants to have sex and the other doesn't, as you said, that person is more likely to cheat. That in itself proves that person didn't love ther other.





Look, I don't believe in the "I thought he was the right one but now I realized I was wrong" mentality, okay? Mainly because if you want to have sex, you should know for sure if that person is who you think they are. People will disagree and say you can never know for sure, I think it's possible. I've known my girlfriend for a little over a year and in a month, I think we both had each other figured out to the last drop. If you want to have sex with someone, you better be sure or else don't bring up that excuse because it's your fault.

well wat if that girl doesnt regret nething she didd...shes perfectly fine with it . u think it's wrong for guys to think of her as a xxxx just cuz she's not a virgin?

[RareChik]

Re: Armenians and sex: what's your opinion?

When will the girls get to choose? The times when the girl has to sit at home and be pure and wait for a guy to approve of her is over. If you are a girl, take charge of your life, do whatever you want to do, and don't be too worried about the approval/disapproval of some guy with "tradditional" issues which in this day and age don't really mean anything.

Also, sex is waaaaaaaay overblown and too dramatized. It's really not that big a deal anymore. If you haven't lived under a rock, aren't doing STUPID things to impair your rational judgement (like drink heavily and do drugs), then the physical risks from sex can be very minimal. The emotional risks are also something you'll learn to live with but the best way is to live rather than to wait in fear of "what if".

wow! I havent heard this from a lot of ppl or any for that matter. I'm surprised. Not a lot of ppl think this way(especially armenian).